One kid at a time

Most who know me, know that I raised one child and sent him off to college before the second one was born.  While this wasn't entirely deliberate, or deliberate at all for that matter, it does say a little something about how many kids I am experienced  handling at any given time.  Fast forward, kid number two and  the celebration of birthday number 8.

• Matt- "Mom, can I have a sleep over for my birthday?"
• Me -" I guess so, who are we inviting?"
• Matt- "We need two packs of 8 invitations"
• Me - "Um, I don't think so, 16 kids, no way!!
• Matt- "ok, how about 8?"

And so it was agreed upon, however, somewhere along the way, we ended up with 10.  (who is in charge? are you wondering?).  

The plans were made:

• 10 flashlights for flashlight tag , identical and complete with their names on them -check
• 10 star wars cups and straws - labeled with their names - check
• 10 matching bags - labeled with their names ( a theme is emerging, I don't want any fighting!)
• Pinata
• Bounce house
• 10 mini legos to give away -check check check.

So as if this sleepover wasn't enough for us to do in one day, we decided  to have a family party on the same day (two birds--one stone) so to speak!  The family party started at 2 and everyone was gone by 5 (in an effort to give me an hour to relax and prepare for the night ahead). Even my oldest son said "Mom, I never subjected you to that"  (kids are all different, aren't they?)

Fast forward 6PM.
They started to arrive, one by one, immediately heading for the bounce house.  As it started to fill up, I was thinking I probably should have had a bigger one ( and maybe one that locked from the outside ;)) just kidding.  Every mom who dropped off their kid either had a horror story to tell me or offered a prayer for my survival. I have to admit, I was kinda scared.

First there was pizza, next a scavenger hunt, Mike thought a spoon relay race complete with real eggs (not hard-boiled) would be fun, indoors.  The boys thought this was fun but insisted the eggs should have been hard-boiled ;), not a single one broke on the floor.  (they must have been thinking of their own moms :)

The main event was 'flash-light tag.  They knew we would be playing because I put it in the invitation and so it began, pre-teen boys and one large boy (Mike) outside, in the dark for flash-light tag.  The bounce house served useful because I broke them up into two teams.  When one team captured their victims they had to go in the bounce house, it was like 'jail'  complete with niece Maggie as the jailer.  (Thank goodness for her!)

• Head counting occurred almost every five minutes, it didn't occur to me in the planning stages that I might lose a kid (even though I was at home) --luckily, I counted 10 every time :)

The finale, a pinata , presents for Matt, and he had a small gift for each of them.  He gave them each a lego spaceship, I was AMAZED each of them sat down for what seemed like a long time building their spaceship. (It was the first quiet moment we had all evening, and almost the last).  Did I mention, I decided at the last minute not to do cake and ice cream?  (Are you kidding me, sugar them all up after they had just quieted down? NO WAY).  

At 10 they settled in for a movie, at midnight we shut off the lights and told them go to sleep.  

Fast Forward 7am Sunday- like wild birds on a summer morning they all woke up loudly together.  Only it wasn't 7am as my clock would have told me.  "Fall Back"-UGH!  6am! 10 boys ready and raring to go.  (Seriously? I have 4 hours to entertain them?) OMG.

• Breakfast-pancakes, eggs, bacon, doughnuts, juice and chocolate milk
• Sure you can go in the bounce house at 7:30 am, a little 'frost' outside isn't gonna hurt you!
• I had a trick in my back-pocket that I didn't use the night before -- two Wii's, two TV's, we set up Mario Cart for those who were not quite ready to take on the outdoors.

The last 4 hours felt like forever! We were finally down to 1 kid (our own), we told him he could have whatever he wanted for dinner, and he could make it himself, an indication of being alot older as a parent this time around.   We were all in bed, fast asleep by 8:30 pm Sunday night, exhausted!

Would I do it all over?  Yes these boys, although loud, are; creative, opinionated, passionate, spirited and already showing leadership qualities.   Would I do it again?  ah, that is a different question, NO WAY! not with that many boys!  Hooray for no crying, no injuries, no trips to the ER.   I enjoyed getting to know some of Matt's closest friends a little better  and I can't wait to watch these boys grow up into young men, who will most certainly eat me out of house and home. I hope they will be friends for life!

One of Matt's best pals,  said on Sunday ' I was disappointed we didn't do cake and ice cream?" LOL, Mike said, oh darn we must have forgot! (HAH!)  

In the end and already recovered, a memory we will not soon forget!  Life, Love & All that jazz-- celebrated the 'destination' because I was too darn busy to enjoy the journey!

Answered Prayers

In March of this year, I asked the cyber world via this blog to pray for my friend and her very serious illness.  Six months later, I revisit my blog post, I re-read my prayer request, and  I report to you that prayers have been answered.  By no means is this beautiful, brave young lady out of the woods, in fact, she has quite a road ahead of her ,but she has come to this critical point and now the recovery begins. 

I am thankful. I thank God for helping her get to this point. I thank you for your prayers.

I can't help but reflect on the last six months and her initial words to me.  "Don't feel sorry for me"  "Don't treat me differently"  "Pray for me".

• In the last six months, never did I hear her complain. 
•  She came to work every day, she did her best.  
• She exercised with a personal trainer.  
•  She focused on her nutrition.  
• She remained positive.  
• She laughed. I"m sure she cried, but I never saw her cry.  
• She prayed.  
• She inspired.

 Was it the prayers that helped her?  Was it her attitude?  Both?  ( Did those of us who were perfectly healthy do all of those things in the last six months?)

For as long as I can remember, I have believed in God, I have had faith. I have believed that there is a divine plan, much bigger than you or I could imagine and often do not understand.

 Over the years, as I have experienced disappointments, loss, unanswered prayers, trials, I have questioned my beliefs, my faith.  I have wondered if my beliefs are outdated, immature, unevolved.  There are people in my life that don't believe, that think differently than I do and that has also caused me to question. 

But then...some little miracle occurs, you could call it a coincidence, you could call it luck, I call it answered prayers.  Ironically, the prayers I most notice getting answered are the ones where I have asked God to help someone else.  It's like those prayers never seem to go unanswered.  I am not naive enough to think there won't be more loss or that I won't lose people I love regardlelss of how hard I pray, but those heartfelt prayers for the well being of another, the realistic ones, there is no greater gift than watching those get answered.

I leave you with a couple of thoughts:

1.) Did you know this is not really a Bible verse?  No where in the Bible does it say this!

"God helps those who help themselves!"
Hezekiah 6:1

2.) "Work as though everything depends on you, Pray as though everything depends on God."
It doesn't say this either, but I sure like it!

Thank God for Life, Love & All that Jazz, and ask him to help a friend!

The Ride (Part 2)

We are now heading northeast from historic Cross Village (the lunch stop) towards Mackinaw City.  The terrain flattened out significantly and so did the pack of people.  There was a choice to ride 25 and stop in Cross Village or continue on for the full 51. 

I didn't mention a big unanticipated surprise on our journey.  There was a recent bug hatching in northern Michigan (maybe no-seeums?(not entirely sure  ).  You know, the little tiny bugs that are plastered all over your windshield when you drive fast on the freeway?Flying down hills at 30+ mph makes YOU... a human windshield.  Disgusting!  I was happy not to have facial hair, they were in Sam's beard and mustache.  I inhaled several and they found their way through my sunglasses and in my eyes.  If you thought about it too much ick, best to keep riding and keep your mouth closed. 

Despite the flatter terrain, the wind changed directions, seems we were fighting it the entire way.  We only stopped once and that was for a quick photo on the lake.   We saw some wipeouts, mostly skinned knees. There was a woman who crashed and her bike was pretty banged up.  I have to talk about the fashion for a second, wow:

• Way too much spandex and lycra!
• Picture someone who shouldn't be wearing spandex or lycra and then add :  padded butt shorts, YIKES, while they may be comfy, they are NOT flattering, saw some saggy padded butt shorts too!
• There were themes; for those of you that have been on traditional trips with us (i.e. canoeing) you know I love themes.  Quote from Karen " If Tami does this again, I see a theme in our future".  I loved the guys who wore 'tuxedo shirts and their helmets had orange construction cones on top! too cute!
• Many people had clips for pedals and clipped on their shoes ( I could never do this, and clearly some of them shouldn't have either!)
• For those that are fb friends with Sam, saw the dude in the maid's uniform with the fishnet stockings! FUN

People were mostly friendly, chatty, relaxed and having a great time.  After my temper tantrum before lunch, I apologized to my best friend, thanked him for doing this with me and had a wonderful time!

By the end, Sam and I were exhausted and ready to stop pedaling!  When we crossed the finish line, I was a tiny bit emotional, not quite as emotional as when I did the duathalon, ( that day I actually balled at the finish line!) this time I just felt glad we finished and mostly glad we spent time together doing something different that we had not done before.  The Bacardi tent was hopping, $2 drinks and I must say the grape rum with sprite ROCKED! 

We hung out for a bit and then road back to the hotel.  Before dinner I took the kids to the pool, and hit the hot tub.  At the hot tub I met Chet and Polly ( names NOT changed to protect the innocent, --these were their actual names LOL).  Chet was an older gentlemen (maybe 65ish) and is daughter Polly (25 tops), they did the ride too.  Chet said this " Every now and then in life, you have to have an exclamation point" " do something different that you will never forget" he said.  I loved that he said that!  I agreed, I will not soon forget this ride.

 Everyday life is so busy; work, kids, sports, class, chores, its so great to take a 'time out'.  It was awesome being in beautiful northern Michigan, bugs and all.  I loved spending time with Sam, Karen and Jay, I loved that our kids were waiting for us, anxious to go to dinner and take the ferry to the island.  (Don't worry we did not leave small children alone!)  Katie our 15 year old niece who has grown into a beautiful, responsible, brave and mature young lady took care of them for the day.  I even loved that my phone was dead!   I hope anyone who reads this will consider doing this with us next year! 

To our jazz girls -- Total calories for the ride = 1432 (about  2 1/4 classes--- OUR CLASSES ROCK when you do the math!) You would have to do BLOW and Enrique about 3 or 4x to make your butt burn like those hills though!

I am rejuvinated and can once again start a new week.  I leave you with this final thought:

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other". -Douglas H. Everett

You only get one shot at it, make a few exclamation points!  xxoo

The Ride - May 2011 (Part 1)

And so it begins, the ride from Boyne Highlands to Mackinaw City, 51 miles of pure fun!  I didn't sleep well the night before, it was a busy day at the Toledo Zoo with Matt's 1st grade class.  We got home from the zoo, finished packinig and we were on the road to Northern Michigan.  I never sleep well in a hotel the first night, tonight ,was no exception.

We arrived at registration, picked up  our packets, our wristbands (very important to have these)  and of course our souvienier tshirts!  We moved on to breakfast, it was a buffett feast loaded with enough carbohydrates to induce a coma.

Before we left the finish line, I already lost my wristband, I hoped this was no indication of what was to come, because the people at registration would not replace it!  In the car, on the way up, I downloaded an app for my phone so I could track our route, determine our speed and ensure we went  the full 51 miles!  (no cheaters! and I love stats!)

And we're off, it wasn't a 'group start' which means riders could start the ride any time they wanted between 8am and 11am, we started about 9:30.  The weather was perfect.  The people watching was even more fun!

The first part of the ride was loaded with hills.  Uphill, then downhill.  I'm not sure which was worst, going up and the insane burn in my butt, or going down at 30+ miles / hour.  Sam loved this part, flying down the hills, no need to pedal. I hated this part, I rode down with the brakes on, envisioning that I would hit a rock, flip over the handle bars and be in the emergency room . 

Below is a link (which would be from the app I downloaded to my phone, however, the constant use of the GPS and lack of signal burned out my battery halfway through the ride!  http://www.mapmyhike.com/routes/fullscreen/17873704/  

Some riders reported speeds of 40mph going down hill at the "Tunnel of Trees' (which was lovely--the trees, not the speed).   I was alone at this part of the ride going down this crazy hill.  I experienced what bike racers call 'DRAFTING" A group of 8 riders (clearly professionals)  were on my left flying down the hill  all in a single file line,  their speed was so intense it pulled me into their DRAFT and lined me up right behind them, it was crazy! The wind tunnell just sucked me in, I had never felt something like that before.

So ,I mentioned I was on my own during this part of the ride, I also mentioned Sam loved the speed.  We were going down a hill, I asked him to wait at the bottom of the hill for me, (while I rode the brakes)  and I didn't see him again until lunch!  I was mildly annoyed with him! He had my money, my i.d. and my lunch ticket (remember I lost my wristband-which entitles you to lunch). I arrived at lunch and searched everywhere for him, the more I searched, the madder I got.  How could he be so insensitive?  I had no cell service, because I used up my battery on bike route mapping! ugh...Where the hell was he?  20-30 minutes later he arrived at the lunch spot, I apparently passed him without realizing it.  He was snapping pictures and I was pedalling my ass off trying to catch up to him so I could yell at him for not waiting for me.  It was nothing a little food, drink and balanced blood sugar didn't cure :) (ok ok, yes of course I yelled at him a tiny bit)

 Lunch was the 1/2 way point, the 4 of us had lunch together, rested and stretched our legs a little and we were on our way, once again!

Stay tuned for Part 2.

Prayer for a friend

My heart is heavy tonight, someone in  my life recently learned that she is very sick.  No names, no disesease titles coming out of this post, rather just something to ponder, her bravery, her attitude, her character.

"Please don't treat me any differently" she said, "don't look at me and feel sorry for me",
don't take away my responsibilities", instead, be positive and pray".  WOW.  I"m speechless frankly.    As the tears flowed down my face, I stood alone.  She stands tall and strong, she stands positive, she is brave, she has faith.  I feel fortunate to stand in her presence.  I know I have so much more to learn and there is no doubt I will learn something valuable from this brave young woman.

As most of us do, I thought to myself, how would I handle such news if it were me?   I can say with certainty, not as she handles this news.  Quickly I rushed to the irrelevance of my own problems, so small in the scheme of things, yet, they often seem as large as life.    If you are a person of faith, please pray for this brave, young woman, you don't need to know her name, you don't need to know her disease, you just need to know that a prayer dedicated to her, just takes a second and is worth so much more.

Nourished

Nourished by a wonderful meal;

Lean beef, bathed in red wine for hours

The smell enriches your sense of smell

The taste quenches your hunger

Acts of kindness nourish your soul

One leading to another

Kindness enriches your sense of touch

It touches others by way of love

Being together nourishes your heart
physical and emotional closeness
feeling heard, feeling valued, feeling fed with love

Everyday requires nourishment
somedays you overindulge
somedays you give and take less

" Enjoy at least three feasts a day, with or without food" (Martha Beck)

I love weekends, I feel nourished. I will not let Malnutrition overcome me this week.

Part 2 - The power of your thoughts

In my previous post, I mentioned that I attended a conference.  This post is about a specific session I attended about the power of your thoughts.  Vanessa and I entered a classroom in the basement of the  League.   There were two other woman and an instructor in the room.  The room was dark, the lights were not working, the instructor used an old transparency projector to give light to the room.  Let's just say, it was no accident that the lights weren't working;  this was just part of the two hour journey that we were headed on.

 Lolita, was the instructors name.   She was an older woman, with a mid-sized build.  She was dressed in a skirt, a matronly blouse and mentioned that she forgot her shoes so she was wearing ankle socks and tennis shoes.  For those of you that have spent any time on a college campus you have seen this look a million times, most of us foreigners call it, 'the Ann Arbor look'.  Her voice was soft, and she was eccentric, some may even describe her as bizzare.  I noticed immediately that Lolita was not overly skilled in technology, her entire presentation would be delivered with powerpoint slides loaded with pictoral images and complete with sound.  I was wondering if Vanessa made the right decision to miss her session and stay with me, where was this going?

Lolita started with : Your thoughts, why are they important?  How much energy do we waste "over reacting" about things?  What is it that you believe, Why do you believe it? (what does the little voice in your head say?)  I knew immediately this is the place I wanted to be, as for Vanessa, she would have to decide.

 Lolita went on:   Brain science tell us that 'you repeat a thought in your mind over and over and by doing this you condition your brain to ACCEPT this thought without condition.  You create---or visualize things before they happen, (forecasting what you think the outcome of something will be) and you visualize images from the past, (focusing on things you cannot change) .  Your mind is a garden that repeats your thoughts over and over again.. The garden is filled with blooming flowers or with weeds (negative vs positve thoughts) .  You can change your thinking, Lolita says.    You can change the messages that you create.  Just like any bad habbit (smoking, over eating) change is difficult and there are lots of excuses we make to avoid change.


Lolita shared her own experiences of her bad temper and how she needed to change how she was 'reacting' to things or spending alot of emotional energy on things. It was difficult to imagine this woman having a bad temper.  She would continuously laugh at herself during her presentation, often as she was reading right from her script, she also used alot of Star Wars references and would make the little voices:  Darth Vadar: The Force is with you. LOL --Luke I am your father (this was complete with voices). 

I started to give character to this woman and decided that if she were a cartoon she would be a 'fairy god mother" -her mannerisms, her crazy laughs at herself, and her voices. I wondered ,for a second ,if when the session ended would she disappear into thin air and I would be left wondering if this was a dream.

She talked about women who overcame adversity and made changes, she pointed to examples.  She spoke of our needing to decide if the changes that need to be made (the negative self-talk) was really worth our time.  She quoted "Yoda"  "Do or do not, there is not try".

 Her lecture then shifted to gratitude, and the importance of being grateful.  The research says that keeping a gratitude journal for just 3 weeks can have an effect on your well being for 6 months. (Look up the research she mused as she had several times previously).   She spoke of focusing on the present moment,  to practice shifting any thoughts away that aren't in the present moment.  She shared some resources for future reading  "Happy for No Reason and Seven Pleasures; Essays on Ordinary Happiness. 

I loved this session, it made me wish I could go back to school, get my masters, then my PHD, study and research, make presentations, talk in a soft voice, wear tennis shoes with my skirts and have 20 somethings refer to me as a fairy God mother.  It was thought provoking at the same time a little wierd.  " I heard the Fairy God Mother say, " you can't wish, you must ACT"!   (Did she hear my thoughts too?) Her final words:  "Don't let what you  can't do get in the way of what you can do!"  I may not be able to go back to school right now but I can wear tennis shoes with my skirt! -- watch for a photo soon!